THE #BachelorBreakdown: WEEK 4

Sadly there is no week 3 post. However, I was able to catch bits and pieces of the episode. My main takeaway from week 3’s episode is that the Backstreet Boys made an appearance, the girls found out Corinne has a nanny, and Vanessa had a one-on-one date with Nick where she got motion sickness and got sick in front of him. Now that's true love, folks!

Last week we left off with no cocktail party, just a pool party. Which isn’t every day a pool party at the mansion?

All the girls are uncomfortable with Corrine. Given. We’re at the part of the season where they sit in groups and all talk about how much they dislike her and blah, blah. Speaking of, where is Corinne? Sleeping during said pool party. For some reason, this upsets the other girls. 

Since all the girls are fed up with Corinne’s hand on and selfish actions, they all want to confront Nick and find out basically WTF is going on. Sweet Vanessa strikes first and she’s questioning Nick’s intentions. Does he want a wife or what? That conversation basically goes nowhere, because Nick isn’t sure what Vanessa or the girls saw and he IS looking for a wife. Vanessa swoons and no other girls confront him. Ladies, don’t be blinded by his words!

Since Vanessa and Danielle L. already received roses from the previous week, there are 15 roses up for grabs during tonight’s ceremony. Raven, Taylor, Whitney, Kristina, Jasmine, Left Shark (Alexis?), Astrid, Danielle M., Jaimi, Rachel, Josephine, Sarah, and of course, Corinne, all get a rose. Which sucks because I liked Christen and Brittany. They say their goodbyes with no eye contact to Nick, but tears to the camera.

Our man Chris Harrison shows up where we learn it’s time to pack up the bags and say goodbye to the mansion!

This is also the episode where the world traveling begins. 50 shades of jealous over here. First world tour stop- Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I think if I was one of the girls I would have been like “Nah, I’m good.”

We’re now in Waukesha, WI, the hometown of our very own bachelor and my good friend, Katelynn! (she doesn’t know Nick, I already asked) Nick is reunited with his parents and I’m literally crying tears! Love a guy who wants to flaunt his girlfriends to his parents. After a good parent heart to heart, we learn that Nick’s biggest hope is that one relationship shines a little brighter than the rest. Which is understandable when you’re dating 20+ women. Of course, we want him to finally find true love.

“We don’t want to see you on the show again” –Nick’s dad. And America.

First up on the agenda, the girls meet up with Nick. They spend a total of two minutes together when Nick drops the bomb that there will be a one-on-one date with my girl, Danielle L. Their date consists of walking around his hometown, visiting some places on memory lane, and doing a little cookie decorating. My kind of date.  Then like any small town, they run into one of his ex-girlfriends. AWKWARD since this is every new girlfriend’s worst nightmare. Danielle L. is literally the third wheel now. Luckily, ex-girlfriend gives some nice advice as to why Nick is probably still single, and the date is back to being romantic and not awkward. Nick gives Danielle L. a rose at the end of the date and I really really think he likes her. In addition to the rose, Nick also has a surprise. They walk into this crowded AF bar where Chris Lane is performing. If you don’t know who Chris Lane is, don’t feel bad because neither do I. Nick and Danielle L. slow dance on stage as hundreds of fans scream and cheer. Hope she doesn’t get stage fright.

GROUP DATE—SAY CHEESE.

Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, Danielle M., and Corinne are the group date girls that get to get down on the farm. I take back my previous comment—THIS is my kind of date.

The girls put on their cowboy boots and tank tops that say something country related, so when they arrive on the dairy farm they fit in. The girls all walk into the barn where Nick is bottle-feeding a baby calf and says “y’all”. Like, no. The group date is going to consist of everyday farm chores of throwing out hay, doing a little milking by hand, and shoveling manure out of the stalls. Good thing they've all dressed appropriately in their white pants.

Corinne is above farm chores, though. Which I find hilarious since if it wasn’t for people doing farm chores, there wouldn’t be any cows for the milk and she wouldn’t have her precious “cheese pasta” or any food for that matter. Sorry, agricultural communicator rant. So she acts like a brat basically and stops doing the chores. Which again, make the other girls upset. Corinne could breathe and we'd all be upset with her. (We later find out she lost feelings in her fingers and almost had to go to the hospital, AKA work.)

After the group date on the farm, all the girls get dressed up in their black pleather jackets for the cocktail portion of the evening. Personally, the evening is a little boring until Corinne confronts the girls for talking about her. Again, really? But even that was boring. Is this “Corinne is the bad guy” bit going to end soon because I’m really tired of talking about her and watching the same thing every episode.

Now it’s time for Raven’s one-on-one date. A relaxing day of watching girl’s youth soccer games. Sorry Raven, but that’s actually the last place in the entire world I would want to be on a date at. BUT she meets the parents and that’s kind of a big deal this early in the season. Last time a girl met the ‘rents this early, the mom cried so Ben ended up sending the girl home after they left their house.

That’s not the case this time. The parents love her, the little sister loves her, heck I love her!

This date has actually been going really well. They end up at a roller rink where we learn Nick is probably the biggest nerd ever. Did anyone else notice him rolling by when Raven and the little sister were chatting? Now they’re just skating around to 90’s music and I’m dying because that is serious 9-year-old Molly date goals. I think it’s a given that she’s getting a rose after this date!

During their dinner portion of the date where they actually don’t eat the food, Raven opens up to Nick about the time she caught her boyfriend cheating on her, so she beat him with her stiletto. Nick literally thanks for her for basically baring her soul to him. Wait, what? This girl just told you she is capable of potentially beating you one day and you’re okay with that? 

We round up the night with a cocktail party on the farm, minus the party. They’re in a barn in Wisconsin with what I’m going to assume is cooler temperatures, but none of them are wearing coats. Ladies, I know there’s a fire but still. Corinne pulls Taylor off to the side and confronts her for hurting her feelings. Taylor doesn’t think Corinne is mature or intelligent enough for a relationship with Nick since he’s so much older.

But Corinne is smart, she “runs a multimillion dollar company”, guys. That makes her ready to be engaged. Their bickering back and forth is getting kind of boring until we hear Corinne say she’s going to punch her in the face, followed by B-roll shots of girls gasping at something and Vanessa dramatically passed out on someone’s lap crying. All this dramatic footage and all we get is a “to be continued…”.

Ughh.

Until next week I guess...