Elf It or Eff It?

Rebeccah Connelly


For those of you who have kids, you probably already know what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't, or have been lucky enough to dodge this particular holiday bullet, here's the deal. You can buy this (not inexpensive) kit, consisting of a book and an elf doll, the gist of which is that the elf is sent from Santa to help him determine who is on the nice or naughty list. The parents are supposed to move him around every day without being observed by the children in order to "animate" him, thus making sure the kiddos believe he's really reporting back to the big man in red.

I think I first heard of this a couple of years ago, and had zero interest in participating in said charade, for multiple reasons. First and foremost, I already have enough to do. Really, I'm allll stocked up on to-do. Secondly, that elf gives me the creeps. Kinda reminds me of Chucky, but dressed up for Christmas, moving around my house looking at everyone. Thirdly, per usual, there are those of us who go completely overboard with Mr. ElfOnTheShelf, because apparently now not only is he supposed to be moved around the house every night, he gets up to all kinds of hilarious hijinks, like throwing flour around your kitchen, drawing on your windows, and spilling the dog's food just to name a few. Personally, I find nothing entertaining about making a mess for the sole purpose of having to clean it up. Refer back to reason one.

You guys, there are thousands of Pinterest boards about elfing ideas, there are discussions on Facebook and other social media platforms where people can share what their naughty little guys are up to. Yay! And yes, there is also an app for that. Sigh. Anyway, I guess what really is getting to me is that while we all howl about the holidays being sooo stressful, having tooooo much to do, feeling reeeallly overwhelmed and so forth, we CONTINUE TO ADD ON MORE SHIT. This, my friends, is where I really just don't get it. So much of the pressure is self-imposed. We're all screaming for wine but let's just give ourselves another task. Ugh.

I know the kids like it. I know some people truly do enjoy the creative aspect. I know that my children would probably like it, too. But sometimes, you just gotta say eff it. Or elf it. Or some combination of the two. Either way, it's just not going to happen at my house. I just can't take the pressure, and believe it or not, I think moms and dads get to be a little self-preserving sometimes.

What about you guys? Do you Elf or not?