As if Charleston hadn't had enough of the Southern Charm cast, Bravo has recently released a series of videos showcasing some of the cast member's houses and answers to proposed questions. However, being that Charleston is small enough that everyone knows pretty much everything already about these characters, the videos left us with more questions than answers.
We start off with a tour of Shep Rose's bachelor pad carriage house. His couch is his favorite possesion, because it can "sleep" two, and scattered about are pieces of jewelry needing to be returned to their previous owner. It's all laughs and jokes, and we even get a sneak peek into his fridge, "just like they used to do on MTV Cribs" to see your basic neccessities; beer and sandwich meat.
What, pray tell, would you find if another MTV show was mirrored, like, say, Room Raiders, and a black light was shown all over that couch?
Next we get a look inside Jenna King's place. An obviously historic home, with a pool and multiple pointless rooms, we're left with one burning question. "What exactly do you do?" Yes, yes we know you've lived all over the world, and there's no shortage of pictures of you getting on and off a private jet, but is it yours? Is this house yours? Did you fund it with the design and sale of your leather gloves/mittens/knuckle warmers? We're just a little confused, and curious.
Also, we love the elequent description "This is my shoes!" of her most prized possessions, her Louboutin shoe collection, all of which have practical, everyday uses.
Finally, the last segment our stomaches could handle, was the prompted question, "What makes a woman wife material?"
Seeing as how none of the main cast members interviewed are married, it seems equivalent to Oprah Winfrey talking about how hard being a mother is. You don't know Oprah. What does make a woman more than a conquest for these manboys, who don't want to ever grow up?
T-Rav said she has to be able to cook, want children and be religious. Religious eh? Whatever, but ok.
Craig Conover went straight for the heart strings with his deep, emotional need in a woman of "She's gotta be hot."
Right in the feels Craig, right in the feels.
And lastly, Whitney Sudler-Smith, the young buck who still lives with mom, stated all he needs his wife to be capable of is "How quickly she can pick up other women."
The line starts here ladies, please, no pushing.
To say Bravo is doing Charleston a favor is an understatement. Also, pigs can fly, hipsters hate PBR and the Chicago Cubs are going to take the pennant this year. However, it makes us wonder that if this is reality tv, what type of reality are these cast members living in? Shi@ hit's the fan this Monday, March 3rd at 10 PM.
(Photos via BravoTv)