Helen Mitternight



Nipples. They just freak people out.



There’s been a recent spate of news stories about the topless women in Times Square. It’s legal, but should they just go out covered in body paint and goosebumps?




photo courtesy of New York Daily News



That’s a debate I can’t ever see happening in Charleston. Topless in Times Square is not the same as topless in Marion Square. It’s not that we’re Lowcountry prudes, and it’s not that we don’t know how to behave when we see topless women – recent news stories aside.


No, there are five perfectly good reasons we’ll never have topless in Marion Square.


  1. Tourist paparazzi
  2. No one wants to risk being Shepard Fairey graffiti’ed 
  3. One word: sunburn
  4. Two words: Charleston mosquitoes
  5. Two More words: Cleavage humidity (also known as "boob sweat")



Possible reason #6, too many College of Charleston coeds to compete with?



Maybe there are more reasons? I’d be glad to hear yours.