Just How Skinfully Delicious is it Going to Get? Flavor Flav Will Tell You...

UPDATED: We heard back from the Skinful Halloween producers, and have a bunch more info to share. Start stocking up the body paint, ladies and gents—this is how Charleston does Halloween. 

Looking for a little wisdom on a Thursday in September? Lemme tell you, Favor Flav has you covered... here's a few nuggets from his archives before we get to the Skinfulicious smut of our favorite Public Enemy's pending trip to Charleston. (Categorized for easy reference...)

Useful Warnings
I wear my Viking helmet because the horns define how sharp my brains are. If you try to rub me the wrong way, I will stick you with both of my horns.

Wise Rules of Thumb
One thing you can't do with babies, you can't give them steak. (Word. You can tell this man's got kids…)
 

I'll tell you one thing you can't do: you can't put your shoes on, then your socks on. (So true, Flav, So. True.)
 

How to Identify Him in a Crowd
Since 1987, when I got my first one, I've been wearing a clock around my neck 24/7. You feel me? 24/7. 

On Winning Friends & Influencing People... in the Clink
When I was in jail, I was a lot of people's favorite person. I practically ran the jail. I had more freedom than the police. (Pure awesomeness)

And finally…
I set our house on fire when I was a little child playing with lighters. Boy, did I burn the place down!

Okay. That last quote was where we were headed this whole time, because it pretty much sums up what you can expect at this year’s Skinful Halloween party, no? You've surely heard by now that Mr. Flavor Flav himself will be all up in it. He’s hosting this year. (We hear Ozomati will be there too, plus Simon Rex aka Dirt Nasty, Blowfly, the Dubplates, and more.)

And apparently, this town can’t fucking hold the Flav, because the whole bash is moving out to Hollywood. (Sidenote: Wonder if THAT was a tough conversation with his agents: “No, no, no, this Hollywood is totally like the other one, but… well, it's got some subtle differences. Like roosters and... dirt.”)

Anyway, upon hearing the news, your natural first response was probably… “What time is it?”

Answer: Not sure, but when we hear back from organizers, we'll tell you.

But here’s where you can go to find more info as it develops. 

Meantime, here are some delicious pictures from the event (all from Skinful Halloween's site, by Robert T. Reid). Just in case you're wondering what to wear. (When this author attended back in, say 2004-ish, when it was still in Riverland Terrace, a naked version of Dick Cheney was rippling his way across the dance floor, wearing only a short tutu. The tutu was, as it turned out, too short. His domestic policy was on full display.)

Again, in case you're wondering what to wear...

Or whether to invite your mom...

Or where to put your... face.

Happy Halloween!