THE #BACHELORBreakdown: THE FINAL

Tonight, on the most dramatic season finale of the most dramatic season yet. Who will Nick propose to? Will it be Vanessa or Raven? Or will it be no one?

Ahh, another season finale of The Bachelor. Seems like just yesterday (or three years ago) my sister and I were vacationing in St. Petersburg, Florida when we had to rush back to the hotel room to watch the final rose be handed out during Juan Pablo’s season. Now that was a dramatic finale.

It’s time for the girls to meet the family. First up, Raven, except she’s actually already met the family back in episode 4. Raven gets pulled aside by Nick’s younger sister, Bella, who is basically besties with Raven at this point. Good luck breaking that bond, Vanessa. Next, Raven meets with Nick’s mom and dad where they all get pretty serious about how they don’t want to see Nick get hurt again, especially after being so sure he was going to end up with Andi AND Kaitlyn. Tbh, Nick’s parents love Raven and so do I. Not much to report on other than everyone loving her.

Now, Vanessa’s turn. I. Do. Not. Like. Vanessa. She wants so bad to get engaged and is very vocal about how hesitant she is about it happening. Her biggest concern is leaving her family and home back in Montreal. Which honestly yeah is a big deal. One of Nick’s million siblings (seriously how many are there?) pulls Vanessa off to the side and says if she has any questions, she needs to ask them now. Maybe this will get everyone thinking it will never work. Vanessa talks with Nick’s dad, asking if love is enough. You know she wants him to say yes, but he gives it to her straight. Love is not enough; it takes a lot of commitment too. They both start tearing up and gah, his parents freakin love her.

After Vanessa leaves, Nick reunited with the family to talk about both girls. “I have a type,” Nick says, “I’ve always been attractive to strong personalities.” Uhm, you mean you’ve always been attractive to brunettes with a good jawline. Like seriously, are all these people Nick’s siblings? None of them look alike, but dang that one brother is pretty hot. Naturally, Nick’s whole family is pretty concerned about what’s going to happen. Is he going to propose? Is he going to get denied? Will he be on a fifth season? (please, no!)

Since this is a live viewing of the finale, we keep getting snippets of Chris Harrison talking to the an in house audience. Chris Harrison (cause you can never just say Chris) keeps bringing up that maybe Nick will end up with no one. Is it possible? Could one or both of the girls just leave him down on one knee? 

It's now the official last date with Vanessa. Why does she always jump into his arms and wrap her legs around his waist. Always. Never fails. They hop on some horses and take a little stroll through the most breathtaking winter wonderland I’ve ever seen. Their horses stop at a little cabin shack out in the middle of nowhere. They approach the cabin and knock on the door when we hear a jolly ol’ voice say to hold their horses, he’s busy. Or something along those lines. The door open and the cabin literally belongs to Santa Clause! Santa invites them inside and holy childhood goals part 2! Santa asks what they want for Christmas and they both answer love and chocolate. Uhm, what about world peace, a new car, idk. After a few minutes of Santa hitting on Vanessa, they say farewell and head to a nice little bonfire so they can talk about how Vanessa wants Nick to tell her she’s the only one he likes and loves. She tells him that she isn’t comfortable with him choosing her because he feels his relationship is slightly greater than his relationship with Raven. Isn’t that how all relationships work? You be with the person you have a stronger connection with? Is that why I’m still single?

Sometimes I'm just like Vanessa, stop asking real legit questions, this is The Bachelor. She asks Nick if he’s ready to propose and his answer does not make her happy. Nick says that he still has the rest of the week to decide and needs every moment to make that decision.  

Another awkward cut to the live audience and I have no idea how they are sitting in a normal chair for three hours just to watch this finale. I am literally sprawled out over my entire living room. Those chairs cannot be that comfortable.

On to Raven’s last date with Nick. I just feel like Nick is already so happy and excited when he sees Raven. Since they did a little roller-skating back during their first one-on-one date, they head onto the rink again. The ice rink that is. Que Sixpence- Kiss Me music playing in the background. Raven seems pretty confident that next time she sees Nick it will be when he proposes to her. Ahh, I hate the confidence. They have a little date by the fire when Nick brings out a surprise- huskie puppies. Oh my god, I’d pick the puppies over him honestly.

During the night portion of their date, Nick toasts to their journey and Raven allowing herself to fall for him. Raven asks him how he’s feeling and reassures him that she’s ready to take the next step and move on with their relationship. He responds that he’s always known her love was genuine since the first time she said I love you to him. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, NICK!? SYMPATHY COMMENT?

It’s time! Nick’s FINAL DAY. Naturally, he’s walking around the snow covered wonderland, putting wood into the burning fire and sipping coffee while pondering what he’s going to do. We hear a knock on the door and in walks Neil Lane. Again. Damn, how many times have we seen this scenario before?

The girls are both ready in their dresses where they ponder on their porches and hop into the car for their final destination, the last rose. Vanessa looks stunning in a black sequin formal, as does Raven in her beaded champagne formal. Nick heads into the romantic cabin, where he MIGHT be getting engaged at in the next few minutes. Casual caribou decorate the outdoor landscape.

First out of the car; Raven. Uhhh this might not be good. First one usually gets dumped. Raven walks in to meet a dapper Nick. She spills her heart of how sure she is on this relationship and Nick’s facial reaction says it all. This is not good, he’s about to break up with her. NOOOOO! Nick says he has so much love for her, but he’s just not in love with her. He is literally breaking up with the girl who told him she beat her last boyfriend with a stiletto heel. Bold move, Nick. But Raven takes this breakup like a champ. Oh my god, I love her and want her to do better than him. Like go on paradise. Lolz.

Next out of the car (and the only one left); Vanessa. Nick tells us he is going to propose to Vanessa. I’m over this. Vanessa heads inside and we keep hearing her voiceover saying she’s unsure if she wants to be engaged at the end of this. What do you mean? That’s the whole point of this show. So Nick tells her he’s in love with him and he can only see his future with her. Vanessa gives us the drawn out version about how much she loves him and how things will be hard, but worth it. So much for that big speech she had about being unsure on getting engaged at the end of this.

Just like that, for the first time ever, Nick gets down on one knee and actually proposes to someone who says yes. Vanessa is Nick’s lucky one and accepts the final rose of the season. And the two live happily ever after…or do they. Although I wasn't thrilled with the outcome, another season, #BACHELORBREAKDOWN, and bracket is complete. 

Stay tuned for more Bachelor series fun in the next few months! Will there be a sequel series covering Bachelor in Paradise? We shall see…