5 Bad Reasons to Shack Up

You’re thinking about taking that next step—moving in together. Perfectly fine unless you’re doing it for one of these reasons:

1. The lease is up

One of you may not be completely ready to move in together, but if you sign a new lease at your old place, it tells your loved one that you are at least a year away from being ready. Isn’t it easier to just sign the next lease together? No! If this is your only reason for becoming roommates, you may find yourself either looking for a new place mid-lease or getting stuck with paying the balance on your joint lease if it doesn’t work out. The end of a lease may seem like good timing, but it can’t be the main impetus for the commitment.

2. You’re spending most of your time together anyway.

His toothbrush is at your place; your shampoo is at his. Maybe you’ve given each other a drawer. Why not just make it official? There’s a big difference from spending a lot of time together but knowing you have a retreat when you’re cranky, and being together. All. The. Time.

3. You want privacy from the cockblocking of your parents/roommate.

You’re tired of hanging a sock on the doorknob or turning the music up really loud so your parents won’t hear anything. Isn’t it easier to move in together so you can have blissful uninterrupted sex? Nope. Because no one, not even you, can have sex all the time, and you have to make sure the rest of the relationship will stand up to cohabitation. Get a hotel room.

4. It’s just the logical next step

Everyone may tell you this is the next step, from your best friend to your parents. But, here’s the thing. You don’t have to take the next step if you’re not ready. You can just stay right where you are, assuming your beloved feels the same way. Living together, where you find out that not everyone does things the way your mother did, only works if you feel like you and your loved one have the potential to be forever.  

5. One of you wants to get married, so this is a good compromise

Lived together. Been married. They are not the same. They seem like the same thing because you are both sharing a home, but they just aren’t. Something about signing that contract, swearing eternal fidelity in front of family and friends, just makes it different. If it’s good, it makes it feel solid. If it’s bad, it makes it seem like the prison door just clanged shut. Either way, it’s way different from just mingling your stuff in one place.