The Book Was WAY Better

So the other day my wife was home by herself watching our son. At some point during the course of play, the two of them make their way into the living room where VOILA! my son happens upon the toy of the year, our TV remote sitting on the coffee table. Now before I go any further with this story, let me just say that my wife is a better parent than I am in every single category under the sun except discipline and making fake fart noises. (The second is my real strength though.) Anyway, instead of taking said remote control away from the little troublemaker, she instead laughed and watched as he pushed every single button on it because apparently she’s never seen a small person operate a remote control. Fast forward to the next evening, as I sit down to turn on the TV and watch something I’d DVR’ed. I had to do a double take and then process what I was looking at for a second. Eventually, I called my wife into the room to ask her a question.

ME: “Any chance River was playing with the remote yesterday?”

MY WIFE: (Laughs) “How did you know?”

ME: (Pointing at TV screen.)

Now that I’ve had a few days to process the entire situation I can’t help but laugh. I mean, yes it’s porn but it could have been WAY worse: He could have bought The Notebook or anything with Katherine Heigl in it. But on the other hand, this little lapse in parenting cost us 13 stinking dollars. But the worst part? Armani Staxxx is only in it for, like, 45 seconds TOPS.