Why Don't You Woo Me Instead?

Challenge my mind. Pique my curiosity. Move me. Make me laugh. Tick me off. Just don’t try to sell or subscribe or impress me before you’ve done any of those things!

I’ve been doing lots of research as I write my next book, which includes visiting new websites and blogs. On some (far too many!) I was bombarded with pop-ups within seconds of opening the page. Enroll! Subscribe! Buy! Don’t miss! Read my new book! See me on TV!

It felt like being around a carnival barker. Those super-shouty people trying to drag you inside the tent, forcing your attendance at a show you're not quite sure you want to see. I love how management consultant Steve Tobak aptly describes this behavior: “me2me.”

The world is noisy, and we do have to find ways to make our voices heard. But there are good ways to go about it and bad ways. There’s a big difference between tooting your own horn and using a 300-member marching band to do it. For me, loud isn’t the answer. The pull of the whisper is.

Give me a reason to engage. Being a blind consumer is shameful—why sign up to receive info in my email if I'm going to hit the delete button without reading them? If a site’s content is informative or inspiring, I’ll gladly visit, subscribe, or share. But there’s no way for me to know if your message teaches, tests, provokes, or exhilarates me without having first had the opportunity to experience it. Let me explore and savor before the sales pitch or personal commercial happens.

Go beyond self-interest. Build a relationship, make a connection, challenge the mind and inspire the heart. It's about us, not just you. Life is a perpetual teeter-totter ride between selfish and selfless acts. Don’t get unbalanced.

Stop trying so hard. There’s something incredibly mesmerizing about someone who manages to have both confidence and humility. Conversely, someone full of hubris and arrogance is off-putting. One pulls you toward them, the other pushes you away. I’m not interested in the fact (???) that you earned $95,000 last month. I am interested in how your experiences made you a better person or how your ideas made a positive difference for others. Grace and authenticity are irresistible magnets.

Because the world is raucous, people believe they must be loud and pushy to be heard. For me, it’s the pull of the whisper. We all just have to remember to listen for it.

Photo credit: Adventures in Poor Taste