6 Holiday Gifts To Kill Your New Relationship
December 14, 2015
It’s that time of the year. Your significant other is expecting a gift.
But if you’re in a new relationship, there’s the agony of knowing what’s appropriate. You don’t know this new person all that well yet, but you want to give something a little more personal than a corporate pen.
Sorry, folks, you’re on your own when figuring out what best suits your new love. But here are some things that you should avoid if you want to have your boo around to see in the new year:
- Gift cards. Unless your new love has an obscure hobby and you’ve trekked to the hobby store to get a gift card, most gift cards are just too impersonal. They’re like giving someone a hearty handshake at the end of a date instead of a kiss.
- Pets. Doesn’t matter how cute the kitten, or how beseeching those puppy-dog eyes at the adoption fair. Back away. You don’t want to give someone a furry little being that he or she may love longer than they love you.
- Lingerie or underwear: You may already be at the sex stage, but giving anything worn beneath clothing is presumptuous in the early stages. Too big is insulting, but too small is awkward. And underclothes can range from whore to prepubescent, neither of which is good in a new relationship.
- Fruitcake. There is never a good reason to give fruitcake, unless you actually want to end the budding relationship. Come to think of it, fruitcake could end a longstanding relationship too.
- Workplace gifts. No singing telegrams, flowers, strippers, nothing that shouts to coworkers that this person is in a relationship. Because they may not have told anyone yet, and there may be a good reason for that.
- Photos of you. Unless you know for a fact that your intended needs a starter kit for that shrine to you they’re building, don’t give them a selfie. A photo of the two of you having fun, maybe, but a photo of you alone is something no one but your mama wants. And maybe not even her.